The China Doll

There once was a southern China Doll. It was thought he was just a ventriloquist dummy, but those that thought this were wrong. Now we know he’s a China Doll. But he does have a boatload of dummy properties. The China Doll from Kentucky doesn’t even move his mouth unless there’s a hand shoved up his ass. That hand is up his ass a lot. That hand belongs to Xi the Chinaman. He owns him and he owns all of the other China Dolls in the DC Chicom Store. Xi has quite a collection. No one can touch them, but him. They can only move when he makes them move. He’s a little fussy with them. He likes them looking good. He dusts them off regularly so they always look their best, and their families do as well. The little people seem to like them looking good too, even though no one ever dusts off the little people. Even as Xi demands the little people pay for his dusters, they don’t seem to mind. Even as all of the little people’s dolls were shipped off to China Land for reeducation, they still love looking at their assigned China Dolls, and enjoy their good looks. It’s a very strange psychosis.

Xi is very proud of his worldwide collection. But like the porcelain china dolls, sometimes Xi’s China Dolls get old and break too. They don’t look so good anymore. They don’t bow like they used to. Sometimes even China Dolls get arthritis. The China Doll from Kentucky and the China Doll from Delaware and the China Doll from California are on their last legs, the legs that can barely move. This doesn’t make Xi happy. He wants useful China Dolls, and he wants them looking good with functioning legs. He appreciates a proper bow. They’ll be replaced shortly. And the new assigned China Dolls will look good too, and the little people will love them.