The Non-Extinct But Hot And Sweaty Polar Bear

Polar-Bear-CardDo I look extinct? Do I look extinct? Well DO I? No! I don’t! And don’t even try telling me I’m fat. I look a heck of a lot better than many of you…even in no pants. Go ahead try it. Look in the mirror, any mirror. See. You can’t walk around like that. Most of you look awful au naturel. But not me. This body is SEXY on steroids. And I didn’t take any either.
I’m just naturally hot in my birthday suit…in the altogether…buck naked…liberated…wearing only a smile…and a wet t-shirt.

And I can swim, which brings me back to my original premise. I’M NOT GOING EXTINCT! At least not unless I want to go. I’d have to see if it’s a nice place or not first. I go where I want to go and do what I want to do. (Some may not remember that song by the Mamas and Papas. It was a big hit back in the days when folks thought rolling around in the mud stoned out of their minds was a good idea. Oh wait, they still do. But I digress.) But to be grammatically and existentially correct, I’m extant. There’s a big difference.

So when you see me floating by on a comfortable iceberg, don’t be sad, I’m just resting and enjoying the view. Oh, and looking for someone to eat. Sometimes I move from place to place. Sometimes I go to this place and stay for a while, Then, in a couple of years I move bad to that place. I gotta be me and I gotta be free.
And don’t go believing that crazy man Al Gore. He’s a little delusional. That opening scene in “An Inconvenient Truth” was made in a studio on a computer. Boy, does he tell some whoppers. But he is a politician, that’s what they do. But not me. I’m a polar bear, I don’t need to tell taradiddles. Al never even interviewed me, but claims he knows about my predicament. But I don’t have a predicament. No I don’t. But I do have a great body.
Sexy! 100% Summer-Body Ready all year long!
Eat your heart out Rod Stewart.

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