Being in an age of taking great offense at just about anything, we must stop and consider the deep questions of life. Such as, do pigs like hearing the term “Pig-Out”? Or hearing someone called a pig-boat? Or telling someone they live in a pig-sty or pigpen?
Do pigs have feelings? Do any of these pig terms offend them?
Our president has been dealing with a “professor” that thinks trees have rights. Well, since it’s government policy to care about the feelings of trees, we are obligated consider other creatures as well.
What if pigs started a union, or a defense league, and sued everyone that used the term pig-headed?
We’d all be screwed!
What about the screws? Maybe screws don’t like being used as a euphemism.
Maybe pigs don’t either.
Maybe they’re not thrilled about our toes referred to as piggies. Maybe they don’t think our toes look like pigs at all. Who started that anyway? When I slam my toe into the multiple doors and obstacles, that clearly jump right out into my path, I don’t scream out “Oh! My poor little piggy!!!” No! After multiple expletives shouted at the door just for being there, I scream “My toe! My Toe! I think broke my #$#@^%$@ toe!” Imagine going to the doctor and telling him “I broke my little piggy!” Ooookaaaay! Maybe you need a different doctor. But I digress.
Or maybe you’ve heard someone referred to as pig-ignorant? Is it the same as pig-headed? Do we know for sure that pigs are ignorant? If they aren’t, this surely would offend them. If they are ignorant they wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. But does anyone know for sure?
Why do we play piggyback with our kids. Do pigs actually like anyone riding on their back? And why do we call those things on the side of little girls heads pigtails? They don’t look anything like a pig’s real tail.
And what about pigeons? Did they steal the name from pigs because they were out of original ideas? Well, that happens. We all get creative blocks, but they shouldn’t steal over it. Isn’t that plagiarism or something?
And what country actually spoke pig Latin? It’s supposed to be used to cover up secrets, so of course, the Masons were probably behind it’s origin. But maybe it came from Pig Island, we really don’t know. Maybe pigfish used it. They’re fish that look like pigs. They’re really just pig-wanna-bees, you know, they’re like cross-dressers in the ocean.
In any case, someone is upset somewhere all day long over things that supposedly offend them. I’m beginning to think they want to be offended, they like it, sometimes it really brings in the big bucks. It’s sick, but obviously true. That probably offended someone for sure. Maybe I should go into hiding.
Each age of man has important questions to consider. These are very important questions for this age. We may never have the answers we seek, the best we can say is, at least pigs won’t sue us or kill us over our words.