The Shark Bites With His Teeth

Shark-AttackDid you know that the shark bites, with his teeth, dear? Well he does, but what else would you expect him to do? He can’t bite with his fins, or eyes, or nose. No. It has to be with his teeth. This is common knowledge today. We’ve studied them and now know this to be true.
In any case, that was great wisdom a long time ago. This tidbit of info came from a cool song called “Mack The Knife”. It originated in Berlin in 1928. But Bobby Darin’s version of 1958 is probably the most well-known. And apparently the song wasn’t about sharks at all. It was about a killer, an old-fashioned gangster-type, with a real thirst for blood. He was a robber, murderer, rapist, and arsonist. In short he was not a nice man. Mack’s “teeth” was a jackknife and he was much more dangerous than the often defamed sharks of our oceans. All they do is occasionally bite off a limb or two. I’m not saying that’s nice either but they just do what they do. Humans were given rationality. I know, I know, watching our government and culture in action it’s hard to tell that’s really the case, but it is true. So humans can choose to be rational or not. Apparently we’re in the age of “not”.

But getting back to sharks, blood is big today. The bloodier the movies are the better. It explains a lot. People don’t care if the blood comes from sharks or gangsters or next door neighbors, as long as it’s violent. But we don’t want violent cops. Most people want cops that give out candy to children. They did that recently in Pennsylvania after they caught Eric Frein; with my money of course. I loved watching all the parents and kids say thank you to the cops for the candy; I guess they didn’t know they paid for it themselves. Too many people know exactly nothing today and are dreadfully afraid to think. But who knows, maybe their heads really would explode if they ever acquired a real substantial thought.
Jaws-MovieIn any case, sharks are much more popular than cops, especially since “Jaws” came out. That movie is almost as old as Mack the Knife. It was a bad shark though, too phony looking. It reminded me of the old monsters in the original “Outer Limits” TV show. Stiff as a board. But the show was cool; “We will control the vertical! We will control the horizontal!” Oooo! Creepy! Well it was for the time. Jaws was creepy too.
Outer-Limits-TVPeople love watching their friends and neighbors get ripped to shreds. They just don’t like cops doing it. They don’t mind shooting each other, just cops can’t do it. Strange phenomenon.

Some have called Mack the Knife the best song ever written. The glamorization of killing is stunning as long as it’s done by another bad guy. That really is a little insane. As a society we may be nuts. It should be something to consider.
Sharks are a little different from humans. They don’t have cops, they just attack here and there, seemingly indiscriminately. They’re a gang of equal opportunity killing hitmen.

Sometimes lawyers are called sharks. Sometimes they act like sharks. I had a good one once when I lived in New Jersey. His name was Bernard. We called him Bernie The Attorney. He had a real honorable practice. Once they even talked me out of giving them business. Remarkable.
Then there’s Loan Sharks. They really do bite with their teeth. Getting involved with them makes you wish a real shark attacked you instead.
“Jumping the Shark” became a famous phrase after Fonzi went too far to believe in an episode of “Happy Days”. Sometimes surfers really do have to jump the sharks. Sometimes they fail. Well at least we have two of almost everything. Two legs, two arms, we have a lot of fingers and toes. But we only have one head. It really doesn’t matter if we lose it since we’re not using that much these days anyway.

Shark-T-ShirtSharks smell blood in the water, so naturally some have related them to Zombies. But we’re not really sure if Zombies smell blood. As I’ve explained before in another informative post they do smell coffee. Although Zombies do like blood, as we all know, but that still doesn’t mean they’re related to sharks. But they might be. Most people are afraid of both sharks and Zombies.
My advice is to avoid both of them if possible.
Thus ends my thoughts on sharks for the moment.

But here’s some cool shark gear that’ll make great gifts for yourself or friends that get a kick out of these killing machines.
The funny Shark t-shirts and gifts are available at Zazzle.
The funny Shark Attack t-shirts and gifts are available at Zazzle.



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