It’s election time and some people dread it. But here’s some good news!
Finally a Party that can keep its promises!
Disappointed in your elected ‘Public Servants’?
I’ll bet plenty of people out there that are.
I’ll bet we could start our own political party…
The Disappointment Party.
Well, you know, that everyone will think we are talking about the Democrat or Republican parties. And we’ll have to agree, that they certainly are dreadful disappointments. And we’ll have to admit, that they’ll be a tough act to follow in our race to see what’s on the bottom. BUT WE’RE AMERICANS! We’re a determined lot. If we put our minds to it, we can out-disappoint anyone. After all, we’ve been disappointed in our leadership for so many decades it’s simply a way of life.
So next Election Day, instead of voting for the usual bandits, let’s think creatively. Surely we could come up with half a dozen people who could be just as disappointing as the band of thieves that have been freeloading off of us for decades (and they all try to appear as outsiders, they must think we’re idiots). Let’s spread the payoffs around a little bit more. The current crop of scoundrels should be taught to take turns at screwing the American people (any kindergartener knows to play fair and take turns).
So if there’s anyone out there that wants us to vote for them next year, here’s what we’re going to do:
1- Hold a contest to see who is the biggest disappointment.
2- Contestants should send in their list of people who are disappointed in them (first names will do), and the extent of their damage to them. And may the most efficient disappointment win.
3- After we select our nominee, we could advertise something like this, “We Make No Promises!”
This claim should be pretty easy to fulfill. No other candidate will tell you this. They’re all on a “I feel good!” trip. They have to keep up a positive front, we don’t have to. Because we don’t care!
4- Then our campaign stumps will go like this:
“We never met expectations in the past, so why start now?”
We could print bumper stickers, signs and t-shirts. It’s sure to be a hit. At least, no one will accuse us of flip-flopping. And since our skeletons have been out of the closet for years, there’s no need to worry about them embarrassing us.
Our candidate will continue to explain:
“You think it’s bad now, just wait, we guarantee that we’ll make it much worse.”
Oh, that’s honesty. And forget about the chicken in every pot nonsense: “We can’t afford it.” And health care? Health care fooey! “Sick? Don’t get sick. You get sick…you die.” Yep, sounds like the guy for us. Wreaks of disappointment, I feel bad already. He’s very convincing. And how about taxes. “What do you mean, you pay too many taxes? You still have money left? How’d that happen? We’ll fix that fast. You won’t ever have to worry about taxes again, we’ll just take it ALL. You work for us now.”
Yikes! That’s leadership! I’m impressed.
But I do seem to remember my mother singing,
“St. Peter don’t cha call me ‘cause I can’t go,
I owe my soul to the company store.”
In the past, we always thought we were voting for winners, and lost. So this year we could vote for a known disappointment and get what we voted for.
This could be the year of real ‘change’.
Change may not always be good, but it certainly is different.