No More Illegal Aliens

No Illegal Aliens Card

We’ve had it in this country with all of the illegal aliens. There are just too many of them. Why can’t they stay where they belong? So many folks are troubled by this influx. We have laws against illegals. They’re criminals! Do our laws mean anything anymore? And what about all of their captives? What have they done to them? These people aren’t normal (who knows if they ever were, but they’re certainly not now). They just can’t keep showing up here and abducting people. These people don’t belong to them, they belong to us. They should go and get their own people. And what were they probed with? They surely are different now. Goodness, every freakin’ light in the sky creates a recurrence of post traumatic stress for these poor souls. And their nightmares…big eyed, green creatures shoving probes into every opening they can find. These people keep waking up in a sweat. And most of them seem to have more openings than they used to have.
It’s simply inexplicable.

What do they want? Are they going to take over? Kill us? Eat us? What? What do they want? It really is time that we fight back. Eliminate these foreigners before they eliminate us. New laws must be enacted and enforced. Vaporization should be used before it is too late. They just can’t keep taking over every planet that they’re intrigued by. We all know how interesting we are. Every TV show  tells us relentlessly how intriguing we are, so it must be true (TV wouldn’t lie, especially the NEWS shows). But still, they have their own planets and they should stay there. We must insist that Earth is for Earthlings, Mars is for Martians, and Venus is for Venusians. These aliens must work to create their own intrigue, not steal our.

And we really don’t know how much damage all of their spaceships are doing to our atmosphere. Maybe they’re the cause of global warming. They’re the ones flying around in our atmosphere all of the time, not us, we’re on terra firma, and would like to stay here. And how many are here already? Do we know? Do you really know that next door neighbor of yours? You know, the one that keeps bringing over the crappy pies. Why can’t she learn to cook? Well, maybe she can’t. Did you ever think of that? Hmmm…maybe she’s an ALIEN!!!

And why won’t that @#%#%$# dog shut up? Was it abducted and probed? (That would definitely make me scream blood murder.) 
And that hamster…for hours on end he runs and runs and runs in that stupid wheel. Do you really think that’s normal? They seem to have no plan, no purpose, they just don’t care, where do they think  they’re going? They’re totally hyper. What happened to them? Well, maybe it’s just too difficult to stop and sit down. But why? Everybody takes a break once in a while. But do Aliens?
We don’t know.

And notice how squirrels can’t make up their mind on crossing the road. It’s not that difficult of a decision. They only have two options, go or stay. But nooo…what we get is “this way, that way, this way, that way, too many choices, what shall I do, it looks good over there, but I just don’t know.” I say “Hit the darn things.” That’ll make them move their butts. But the chipmunks have no problem at all. This is because the squirrels were abducted and modified. Notice all of their erratic twitching. They’re being controlled like radio cars by the aliens. They’re trying to make us crazy. It’s an alien plot against our planet.

Why are cows so mad lately? What’s their problem? Why do you think dogs and cats smell each others butts? Everyone assumes that’s normal. Is it really? Why can’t they just say “Hi” and be done with it? And why do dogs chase their own freakin’ tails around for hours on end? It’s their tail! What will they do when they catch it? This is crazy man. Let’s face it these creatures are insane. Someone’s been messing around with our stuff.
It must stop now!
Beware my friends, the aliens are here. 

What do they want?
Do we really want to wait to find out? 
Vaporize them now and get it over with.

Try and have a good day, if you’re not abducted or something like that.

You can warn your friends about the coming attack on our country with the funny  No Illegal Aliens card, t-shirts and gifts.

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