The Pigeons Have Come Home To Roost

All along we thought the expression was ‘The chickens have come home to roost’. But now we know how wrong we’ve been. Here we have clear proof that it’s not chickens at all but pigeons. Who knew? Well apparently we didn’t, but now we do. It’s good to get our expressions correct, because they have specific meanings. It used to mean something like ‘the evil that we do comes back to get us’. But that was when we thought it was about chickens. Chickens are nothing like pigeons so it can’t mean the same thing.

However we all know the mess that pigeons make. And one might wonder, “Does this cow mind all of these pigeons climbing all over her?” And the answer is clearly no, because she’s not real. She just stands there in this store all year long, looking really big, and watching. She’s just watching all of her domain like some cow goddess. She may work for the government for all we know. But the pigeons come and go. Well, they probably ‘go’ a lot more than they ‘come’, since we all know that’s what pigeons do…all over the place.

Pigeons always look so busy as if they actually have a goal, a plan. But after observing them for some time, we realized they have no idea at all what they’re doing, they just walk over here, and then walk back over there, and then they do it all over again. Sometimes when my back is bad and I take some really good pain killers that’s exactly what I do too.

So, in conclusion I’ve determined what their problem is; they’re stoned. All along we thought this was normal behavior for pigeons but now we know the truth. They don’t carry messages at all, they carry drugs, and sometimes they use them, that’s why they just keep walking around erratically. And who could prove otherwise. Can you? Hmmm?

All this time the government has been fighting the war on drugs in Mexico, South America and China. They really should keep a sharp eye on those pigeons and their close proximity to children, because children are strange enough all on their own.