The President’s redistribution policies are working great. Many that never had a penny to their name are suddenly finding themselves in the 1% class. The pursuit of alternate energy has provided us with many new groups that we can now demean.
Take those of the aquatic species. They’re receiving great prices for their algae. They’ve got lot’s of it too, and they didn’t make it. Who knew algae would one day replace oil? Apparently algae will be used to make upholstery, tires, clothing, heart valves, cortisone, antihistamines, prosthetics, panty hose, trash bags, contact lenses as well as make your cars go really fast, just like oil. And we know it will do all of this and more because the president said so, and he wouldn’t lie to us. We’re more enlightened lately. We now know the oil that is all over the planet, is evil. Even though in some places like the California coastline it’s in such abundance it’s leaching out of the earth all on it’s own.
All along, here I was thinking it was a gift from God to a sinful people, you know, like rain, it falls on the good and the bad. I thought despite the society’s disdain of God, He gives good gifts to men. I guess I was wrong. Would God give us such a horrible product to improve our lives? Of course not. Maybe it’s just a cruel trick. Wouldn’t He know it’s a filthy awful curse? Doesn’t He know it’s causing global warming? Oil and all of those darn cows farting all over the place will surely kill us one day.
In any case the government knows a better way. Algae.
Yes sir they surely do!
But there is a downside. Just look how the lives of these fish changed instantly once they arrived in the 1% class. Give them a little extra cash and look at the bad habits they adopted literally over night. Now they’re smoking, just like the evil American society! See money is bad! No one should have it! Which explains the push for more taxes.
And we should trust the people in Washington. Even though one day they were typical neighbors bothering us for a cup of sugar, just like the rest of society, but now that they’re in Washington they know what’s good for us. They must because everybody says so.
The transformation into omniscience is stunning.
Washington is divine. Those that rule there are gods.
They’ll get our heads right.
I need a drink, or two, or three.
And a cigar.
Eat, drink, and be merry, and don’t say a word against our omnipotent overlords or you’ll be audited at the very least. And don’t forget to hide the cigar, they’re very frowned upon these days.
Have a good day.